YOU BETTER LIKE HANKY PANKY

countdown to madonna's next greatest hits album celebration continued (although i don't know exactly when i'm counting down to because nowhere seems to have the uk date!) this morning when my old friend alex sent me a link to a simply fascinating australian blog called ICONOGRAPHY (after her fan club, ICON and the fact that she is one) that's critiquing each of her singles in chronological order to celebrate CELEBRATION.

i've just replaced the ancient madonna pic i had as my desktop background with ICONOGRAPHY's downloadable wallpaper featuring every singlesingle which means that i can't actually see my icons anymore and sadly even the br*tney collaboration is included there BUT also means that i caught a rare glimpse of the queen of pop's ONLY leopard print record cover - the ridiculous showgirl-burlesque riot which waas soundtrack-song HANKY PANKY [1990]. pink n black blurry leopard was an obviously choice of theme for the front of this saucy single and although madonna's the perennial glamour-girl, animal prints very rarely feature in her aesthetic repertoire. so i'm savouring this example and bidding for the 12" on ebay.

shoes on the wall. where they belong

image: mine

classic leopard courts from faith hanging off the picture rail by their heels, pretty.

cat got your tongue?

image: blondes have more fun BACK
image: mine - blondes have more fun FRONT

image: early days u2

i've spent this week getting over the rite-of-passage that was u2 at wembley stadium on friday night. to commemorate the knee-trembling, desert-conjuring, air-punching, teary-eyed experience, i've posted an ancient photograph of u2 (early 80s?) that my colleague thought i might like so emailed to me. adam clayton, the megaband's spanglyfied bass player (he who made with or without you) appears to be wearing leopard-print pants. for real. ignore bono's, erm, weapon - it's during their punk-polik phase - and check out those briefs. i wonder if he had something similar on under his trousers at last week's wembley show...

...so, what did i find in a dusty pile of old records this week? only a dazzling example of late-disco-era leopard lycra (proto-lycra) thanks to wedding-dj-fave rod stewart. see his 1978 LP, the ambiguously-titled BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN...OR DO THEY? which includes tracks that also feature mysterious question marks such as 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?' and 'Is That the Thanks I Get?'. by 1978, the second wave of feminism had truly crashed and i bet not many people took much notice of the playful sexism played out on HOT ROD's album covers. of course the blonde he's referring to in the title is himself and not the anonymous women clinging to him on the front and back sleeves - that's why there's a brunette on the front.

his cover-girl swapping antics and riduculous ditties are unforgivable, but those catsuits, which we only ever get to see from behind are superfine. if they could ask 'do ya think i'm sexy?' i would answer 'yes'.

as seen on stacey's stall

image: mine
image: criminal damage

i used to always watch eastenders in the olden days - why? because of one woman: kathleen slater [and more on her when i have an hour or two]. i did catch it a few weeks ago, however, and observed a scene where bianca was taking tea in her kitchen, resplendent in a luridly hot pink shell suit jacket - a 00s take on that shiny ol' 90s puffa that she used to go to the queen vic/fight ricky/get drunk with tiffany in. watching the eastenders omnibus with sara-lee several rainy sundays ago we admired this delightful garment and on friday last week i spotted a look-a-like in the window of a whitechapel wholesaler (above) and then the internet told me where to buy the bianca original.

i don't know where i'm going, only god knows where i've been

images: mine

even though i have a phone that can supposedly locate me wherever i am, no matter what any tech-type says, i'll always need a decent london map in my handbag just in case. this is a philip's street atlas of london, that comes with a small black silken ribbon bookmark (tail), its covers pulled together with a stretch elastic band. It is available in leopardskin.

'not your little old lady top'

asos, my-wardrobe and net-a-porter are currently stocking this leopard-collar-necked tee for autumn from sonia rykiel's new collection. obviously it looked a no-brainer shopping choice to chuck into my payday shopping basket with some excuse like 'hmm fresh back to school fashions' going through my head when i hit *PAY*. as soon as it arrived on monday, however, i was wondering what on earth i was thinking... sonia's new stock is leopard-heavy, but in that older lady way - like the only kind of leopard print that's acceptable is the big, blurry beige kind, and that's really not for me. and older ladies can afford to waste £70 (including NAP's ludicrous shipping fee) or £63.95 (asos) on a fruit of the loom-quality printed cotton t-shirt that isn't even cut for a woman. it took me about 3 seconds to realise that i had made a very bad decision. and that i shouldn't pay £70 for a t-shirt, even if madonna's sweat into it. am now impatiently awaiting a refund.

KATY PURRY CLAWS

[image: katy perry]

LIAL icon kittypurry has just tweeted her new claws. RARRRR. get yours did here.